phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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