come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
