that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
