Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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