i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
