I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
