You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
