did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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