someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
