Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
