you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
