I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
