I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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