Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
