No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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