shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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