defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
