i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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