my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
