Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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