We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
