this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
where are you?
Hypothermia
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
