Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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