Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
