How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
