Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
