So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
