Can i not drive my cunt home
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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