My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
