bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
