Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
