He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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