I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
where are my eyebrows?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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