At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
