The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
