to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
