I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
