Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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