Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
