you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
