dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
