Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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