But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
