eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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