I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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