I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
