12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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