420 ftw
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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