her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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