She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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