I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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