i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
