No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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