screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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