Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
